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| Name: wvzhoevv From: qedjlfei |
Cost Free Samples Valtrex
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| Name: Ashley From: Yuma, CO E-mail: knec100.9@gmail.com |
Just wanted to thank Gini Adams for sharing her personal story with us on our radio station here in Yuma, CO. What a blessing she is to our community and to those of you attending NE Colo Heart Beat groups. What a touching interview and I pray we touched somebody who needed us today.
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| Name: Sarah N. From: Little Rock E-mail: sarahrampona@yahoo.com |
My boyfriend Johnathan Busby committed suicide April 28, 2010. He had the biggest heart loved children and animals. He was a macho guy but underneath a teddy bear. I was in shock at first, thought I'd avoided the really hard emotions. For the past month, I've been angry at God, myself, anybody around. I can't even say I wish I'd never met him. I wish I could change it all. Angry I can't go back in time. I hope this goes away, being in a group of people but being all alone. I set aside time each night to look at his pictures. I can't let go.
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| Name: Tina Hudson From: Tawas City, MI E-mail: bartender_051@hotmail.com |
My fiance took his life Friday, June 25 2010. Only a few days ago. He was 40 years old. He was retired from the Coast Guard after 22 years of service. He had demons that i tried to to help him cope with. It took me down, it consumed me and made it hard to love him like i wanted. He is an awesome loving, caring person who took my breath away. He also took his life right in front of me in our bedroom. I cant put that sight and all of those emotions aside. I need help and i want to know why. I know that he is no longer in pain, but he left the rest of us suffering. I am so lost and so lonely, even with everyone around me. I so blame myself, not only for the suicide, but for not being able to help him. The weight on my shoulders is heavy. My heart is empty. I miss his touch and smile. Admin reply: Dear Tina: I am so very sorry for your loss and the terrible pain you are left with. We so often feel guilty because we weren't able to keep our loved one alive...but have you considered how much longer he may have lived because of you. You are not guilty...there is a great difference between being guilty and feeling guilty. I am sure you feel regret that you couldn't help him...thats very different from being guilty. Please go to www.afsp.org and click on survivors...then 'support groups' and find one that you can attend. It will help you to be with others who know the terrible wounding suicide leaves those left behind. If you would like to correspond with me write a followup message so we can be in contact. Blessings, dear Tina. Be kind to yourself. LaRita
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| Name: Ruth From: Phoenix, AZ E-mail: rem5110@aol.com |
A little more than month ago, early on a Monday morning, my son drove to a church parking lot armed with a gun. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. The terror and being consumed with grief do just that - take over my whole body. I am also overwhelmed with guilt- I should have seen something-even though he was in his 30's and made his own decisions. I have to remember that the pain I feel now is not nearly as extreme as his was. He left an older sister who is devastated. We try our best to comfort each other, and try to grasp the fact that there are no answers. There is a huge hole in our lives that can't be filled.
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| Name: Stacey Remley From: O'Fallon E-mail: staceyremley@yahoo.com |
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| Name: m From: argentina E-mail: flameseht@hotmail.com |
My mother comitted suicide when i was 17 years old, that was on may, 24 of 2008. She was consumed by a mental problem called Bortherline. She was the most intelligent and most loving person i've ever met. Still, I think some problems in her childhood had affected her and the disease made her extremely violent, abusive of prescripted medication, incoherent, extremely sensible, depresive and isolated, it also caused her divorce with my father. I think if she would have lived any further she would be now in a psychiatric hospital sedated, and I have come to assume she relized it was enough suffering for her and for me and my brother. Her problem was taking our lifes aswell, making us live in complete pain and darkness, fearing her for suddenly being able to become completely agressive without being concious, having to escape our home in the middle of the night, not been able to keep steady friends, i had to secretly make contact with my father, talk to her in a way that she wouldn't feel I was thinking different to her so that she didn't go crazy and mad, although that didn't even help sometimes. We even had to stand some psychiatric "company" to watch her in case she went crazy, she hated that and pretended she was perfect (because she couldn't admit she had a problem entirely) but when they weren't home it made her even more insane, I guess it affected her pride or dignity. She left me some serious painful memories. She had tried to commit suicide will pills before, but that just made her vomit and stuff. She wasn't always like that, but the thing became more and more intense until she did it. She died at 6pm, I wasn't home, I had run that night because I was scared. She threw herself out of a balcony from the 9th floor were we lived. It's been a while I know, and I've made a big improvement. I spent almost a year without going out with friends, staying home every night during weekends and crying non stop. I didn't realize i was depressed at all. Now that time passed and I kept going to therapy i see I am so much better now, I have my friends back, I go out, I do stuff with more enthusiasm, I don't cry every night or feel useless. Still time to time i feel the pain, although i can now say i don't think of her with all the awful memories and awful dreams that chased me at night. Now I can think of the happy memories I had, which are a lot aswell and I had blocked for such a long time. What makes me sad the most is that everyone knows his or her parents will die eventually, but my mom, she didn't even see me finish high school, start university, she didn't see me win my photography contests, she will not see me have children and asking her for help, and I don't have her to ask the questions that a daughter needs to ask to her mom... some things I have to take care on my own and i wish I had her to cry on her chest when something was making me sad, or when my heart was broken by my first love. I love my father and he is great, but still, we all need both of them right?  Does someone here went through something similar?
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| Name: Sarah From: Boulder E-mail: jsdanaher@msn.com |
My husband of 22 years took his own life on January 14, 2008. Today is 2 years to the day from his funeral. I have worked hard to process my grief and sadness but suddenly the last several weeks I have experienced extreme anxiety and crying jags. My friends were absolutely wonderful and caring for so long but now it seems like life has moved on for them but I am still here in this place of deep grief. I am the mother of 2 boys, 16 and 19, and they are doing great, although I know they miss their dad terribly. I don't want to burden them although I am honest about how I am feeling and what I am going through. It's wonderful in a way because we are here for each other but at the same time, we have to move on. I know my husband would not want me to grieve like this but I really loved him and he was my soul mate and I am just so sad. As hard as it will be, I am going to go to the next support meeting. I know there are people out there feeling like I do, and because my friend's can't possibly really know, I hope to make some connections with people who have experienced the same wrenching loss and sadness. Wish me luck. Admin reply: Dear Sarah: I know you will benefit from attending the HEARTBEAT group there in Boulder. There is no timeline for healing...for most of us healing will continue the rest of our lives...however, there will be a time when you don't hurt as badly, as often, as you do now. Blessings!
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| Name: Bruce From: Colorado Springs E-mail: bruce.latimer@comcast.net |
My big brother killed himself on August 21, 2009, at age 61. His first attempts were around 38 years ago. He cut himself off from me when our mother died in 1999. I was hoping to reconnect; we'd begun to email each other. I miss him.
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| Name: Eric Hunsinger From: denver E-mail: tranz9koe@cs.com |
This all took place 3 weeks ago... "i had something happen yesterday that shocked me like nothing else im sad mad and mourning.... my father frank m hunsinger shot himself yesterday at 4:30 pm .... he also died at 4:30 am im in complete shock all i could think of doing was blog... but what do i say... i mean im sad but....here ill start from the top... it all started when i was heading to work. i work at a BBQ pit like a block from my dads house. i had been dropped off at my dads about 3:30 so i could get my cell... now upon walking in my dad says "wheres my money" i told him i havent cashed my check yet... thats when it started... he start yelling "Get the f*** out of my house" i tell him im grabbing my phone and leaving. he freaks storming to the living room. when he returns he has a gun... he aims it at me... and somthing clicked in my head. somthing i never invisioned myself doing... i told him to shoot me... i stood up to the gun but for what...i storm out of the house i slam the door and we have a argument. i leave... i walk to work and when i get there im calm... im safe... im okay... thats when he calls, "THE GUNS FOR ME NOT U, FOR ME NOT U!!!!!" i tell him ot quit calling and shut up. i hang up. 30 mins l8r he shows up at my work... "ERICCCCCC ERRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCC!!!!!!" i walk out side and thats when it happens... "how bad u want me dead!!!!!?" "dad shut up go home" "HOW BAD U WANT ME DEAD!!!!!!!?" "LEAVE DAD!!!!" i turn to walk away and then i hear it... "EEEEEERRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"< br> BANG! "UGGGH" i ran i didnt look back i couldnt see what happend all i know is i ran fast... real fast... i was running for my life... when i stop i look up its been a good 2 miles and i see it.... a huge white cross... a church im saved i think to myself. and yeh i evenyually broke down. my dad ended up going to the hospital and was there for 8 hours. then he died. i was informed by my mother today... oh and did i mention thia all happend yesterday... yeah it sucks" thanx 4 listening i need some guidance i don't know what 2 do
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